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Trust.

That singular word has been a sacred echo in my “right now” for quite some time.  i don’t remember where or when it began, but lately most of what i talk about or wrestle with sources back to trust.  i have learned how easily i say the word, but how little i sometimes mean it.  i am quick to speak it to another as counsel, yet how slowly i sometimes follow in praying it on their behalf.

i make this personal, but can you hear yourself in my admission?  i say i trust God, but what do i mean in saying it?  Because what too often follows in thoughts, words and actions is not trust (and sometimes doesn’t even remotely resemble it!).  The dictionary speaks of reliance and confidence in defining trust.  i would, again, be quick to say that i have both in my relationship with God.  But as i continue to hear the sacred echoes, i feel the Spirit driving me deeper in questioning, observing and understanding what exactly that means in my life.

The epic action of John chapter two (Jesus’ first miracle and His cleansing of the temple) is punctuated by three verses that, on casual reading, might seem a bit odd or disconnected — but not for me.  For me, it was another sacred echo of the challenge and Truth of trust.

… many believed in his name when they saw the signs that he was doing.  But Jesus on his part did not entrust himself to them
John 2:23b, 24a

During this particular trip to Jerusalem for the Passover celebration, Scripture says many believed in Jesus.  Yet, what John is saying in the final verses of chapter two is Jesus held back in sharing the deeper truths of Himself.  He stopped short.  He did not trust that Truth to those who professed to believe.  Why?  What was it about these new believers that would cause Jesus to stop short of sharing Himself fully?

Perhaps you remember a recent post where we encouraged you to not trust the outcome, but the God of the outcome.  i believe this to be the first of two likely answers to what is at issue here.  Although many people believed, what did they believe in?  It seems clear from the text that Jesus discerned they believed in the miracles not the Messiah.  They believed in the man, but not fully in who that Man said He was.  This would prove prophetic, as many of the people who “believed” during that particular Passover celebration would be shouting “Crucify!” at the tail end of a future one.

In my studies of this short passage, it was also suggested that these new believers may have been too young in their faith, causing Jesus to withhold the “solid food” (Hebrews 5:13-14) that was the full Truth of himself.   Whether it was for a reason of misplaced belief or a milk diet, it would be easy to judge these believers; easy to encase that word (believer) in quotes in describing them.  Almost as easy (i have observed) as it is for me to say that i trust God (hmmm … sort of stings when i put it that way).

In navigating my journey of observing and growing in Trust, i have not set my sights on perfection.  For i know my sin nature will find me trusting, at least partly, in the miracles and outcomes.  The three verses which punctuate John chapter two have given me a new perspective on where to set my sights.  May i trust in a way that causes Jesus to entrust Himself to me.  Knowing that i will fail, but also knowing that i believe — not in the miracles or outcomes, but in the God of those miracles and outcomes.