journey onWord with us

If I was completely honest, I would have to admit that I avoid mirrors.  In a department store, I’ll rush past one, being careful to lock my gaze in the opposite direction (how dumb does that sound?!).  It seems like an odd thing to confess in a blog post with more than two readers, but it’s nonetheless true.  I’ll never argue the truth that God doesn’t make mistakes, but in so many ways I grade myself harshly in what I’ve done with the body and spirit that He gifted me.

That critical nature was tweaked a bit recently as I listened to a song from an artist I love.  The song is, “I Am New” by Jason Gray and it speaks of being made new in Christ.  “I am not who I was, I’m being remade, I am new,” the chorus begins.  Just before that chorus kicks in, at the very end of the third verse of the song, you’ll find the following words…

But the One who is making everything new
doesn’t see me the way that I do.
He doesn’t see me the way that I do.

Upon hearing those words again for the first time in quite some time, they landed and nestled themselves in my soul and tweaked that critical nature I just confessed.  I have “listened” to that song many times.  I’m not sure how many times it took to truly “hear” it, but I have come to feel those words deeply.  Oh the immeasurable gift it would be to see with His eyes … even one time and just for a few seconds.  To see myself, not as the physical or spiritual reflection in my earthly mirror, but as He sees me!

So much of my life is lived in the powerful shadow of my guilt and shame.  So many times I stop short of doing something for Him because I convince myself that I’m not worthy, or that I’ve failed Him far too many times to be of any use.  How stuck I can get in the mire of my past.

I read some life-breathing words in a daily devotional (Reflections for Ragamuffins by Brennan Manning) entry recently.  It was titled, “Responses to Jesus,” and offered a beautiful reminder of the lineage we have in this life of faith.

These biblical characters, however clean or tawdry their personal histories may have been, were not paralyzed by the past in their present response to Jesus.  Tossing aside self-consciousness, they ran, clung, jumped and raced to him.  Peter denied him and deserted him, but he was not afraid of him.

In reading the full entry, I was reminded once again of the thread of imperfection that runs through the body of Christ.  The author was referring to the personal histories of Mary (sister of Martha), Mary Magdalene and Peter when he uses the word, “these.”  They are central characters in God’s love story, and yet they are fully flawed human beings.  The thread of imperfection runs through them all and extends to you and I.  Yet at the same time, they (and we) are perfect examples of the power that exists in the name and redeeming blood of our Savior, Jesus Christ.

They “were not paralyzed by the past in their present response to Jesus.”  Yes Jesus, I want that to be said of me.

How are you with mirrors?  And what about your past?  If everything I’ve confessed resonates with you, join me.  If even the smallest part of something I’ve confessed resonates with you, join me. If you see my confessions in the rear view mirror of your own journey, we’ll join you.  Let’s all run, cling, jump and race to Him together!