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“The humans live in time but our Enemy destines them to eternity.
He therefore, I believe, wants them to attend chiefly to two things,
to eternity itself, and to that point of time which they call the Present.
For the Present is the point at which time touches eternity.”

These words were written by C.S. Lewis in the voice of his character Screwtape in The Screwtape Letters.  The “Enemy” Screwtape refers to is God, and the particular letter this quote was taken from is centered on the godly disposition of living in the present.  That particular letter was quite an easy read for me, as I believe myself to be someone who lives in the moment.  I think of the past from time to time, but I do not live in it.  I am aware of the future (or, my future), but I do not give priority to it.  I believe this to be a generally healthy thing — a good and godly practice.  I see this intention and choice in Jesus’ life as He walked among us.  I hear its truth echoed in scripture:

So don’t worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring its own worries. Today’s trouble is enough for today.
Matthew 6:34 (NLT)

In the larger context of that verse, Jesus is teaching about money and possessions.  It is one of the places in his Sermon on the Mount where He encourages and challenges those who are listening to see this world for what it is.  “Don’t store up treasures here on earth..” (v.19)  “No one can serve two masters.” (v.24)  “That is why I tell you not to worry about everyday life — whether you have enough food and drink, or enough clothes to wear. Isn’t life more than food, and your body more than clothing?” (v.25)  These words and truths are absolute and undoubtedly familiar to all of us.  Yet, somehow our lives so often fall short of speaking those truths.

My purpose in writing is not to call out those who may linger too long in the past or orient their life to the vapor that is the future.  I am not crafting a manifesto for the rightness of living in the moment, just as I am not judging those whose disposition it is to plan.  The Bible does not say “The heart of man wrongfully makes its plans,” it simply says “The heart of man plans his way…” (Proverbs 16:9)  C.S. Lewis writes, “To be sure, the Enemy wants men to think of the Future too – just so much as it is necessary for now planning the acts of justice or charity which will probably be their duty tomorrow.”

My prayer is that you’ll be encouraged and challenged with a thread I see running through the last quote, binding it to the one with which I began.  Namely, that our present (and every person and activity in it) is the point at which the time we’ve been given touches eternity.  The only breath we are guaranteed is the one we are taking now.  The only people we are guaranteed are the ones who surround us now.  The only word we speak or hand we offer in love to someone else is the one we offer now.  There is eternity in our now.

If we truly understood and lived that, how would our lives change?  What treasures would we grab to store up?  Who would be the master of our appointment book?  What appointments would be kept, and which would we allow to be interrupted or scratched in favor of what was in front of us right now?  Where would food, shelter and clothing appear on our radar?  And, most importantly, would we put off our decision to follow Jesus, or pursue someone who desperately needs Him?

The Present is the point at which the time we’ve been given touches eternity.  Will you choose to see eternity in your right now?

He was privileged since birth, living in the lap of luxury.  He attended only the best schools and excelled in science, literature, mathematics, military tactics and hieroglyphics (the most difficult language ever written).  He commanded his own company of soldiers, never losing a battle.  Everyone knew his name, as he was most assuredly in line to be the next king.  But at the age of forty, his life of privilege and fame was gone in a moment’s action.  It started out as a day just like any other, except on that day Moses lost his temper and murdered a man in cold blood.

You remember the story – Moses saw an Egyptian beating a Jewish slave and killed the Egyptian, burying him in the sand.  Through the constant winds and shifting sands, the body was discovered.

When Moses heard this, he fled to Midian, where he settled as a foreigner and had two sons.
Acts 7:29-30

Moses was forty years old, and I bet that on many days he wondered, “How did this happen?  How did I end up like this?  God can never use me now.”  The difficult life in Midian became his; the riches of his life in Egypt were gone forever.  He owned nothing.  He lived in the home of his father-in-law and tended his flocks.  He owned no home, no livestock, no land … nothing.  He had become … well, a nobody.

There is no record of God communicating with Moses for the next forty years.  But at the age of 80, God speaks …

There the angel of the LORD appeared to him in flames of fire from within a bush.
Exodus 3:2

… continuing in verse 4
When the LORD saw that he had gone over to look, God called to him from within the bush, “Moses! Moses!”  And Moses said, “Here I am.”

The time had come, and Moses answered the call.  I believe it is so obvious in Scripture that God can use anyone, of any age, of any position, at any time for His glory — even those, like Moses, who have “blown it” in the past.  Not convinced?  Let’s look at some other names you may recognize. . .

• Abraham was a liar, yet he was called “the friend of God.”
• Jacob was a cheater, yet he received the new name, Israel.
• Rahab was a prostitute, yet her name is in the Hebrews Hall of Faith and her lineage is traced to Jesus Christ.
• Peter denied Christ 3 times, yet he preached to 3,000 in Acts.
• Paul ordered the persecution of many Christians, yet was specifically chosen to take the Gospel to many parts of the known world.

We share something in common with Moses and the rest of these pillars of the faith … FAILURE!  Yet we also share the common thread of usability.  I think Charles Swindoll wrote it best when he said, “Any bush will do – you just have to be burnable.”

Every family has an issue or two. I can remember during my late teenage years how my uncle would drink himself into fits of rage and take his misplaced anger out on his sister.  He was a great uncle until the alcohol took over. His life spiraled out of control, and eventually he deeded away family property to his girlfriend. You can imagine how our family felt. I’m sure that somewhere in your family tree there’s an uncle story, brother story, or maybe even a parent story. We have all heard stories of abuse in a family and wondered how a place designed for love could become a place of horror. Often, families rally and pick up the pieces, but often there is a lingering stain of anger, bitterness and rejection. Then some spiritual person who doesn’t understand our family pain comes along and tells us that we can forgive. And our first thought is, “Yeah, right.” But yes, that is right, and I’ve been reading about a man I’ll call “Joe,” who modeled incredible forgiveness.

Can you imagine your own brothers plotting your demise?  It actually happened to my friend Joe. His brothers plotted to kill him, then threw him into a cistern, and finally sold him into slavery. From there his life was anything but normal. He was taken to Egypt where he found great success, but eventually was falsely accused and thrown into prison. How could his brothers be so cruel? Years after being sold into slavery he rose to great power in the land of Egypt. And who eventually shows up in desperate need but his caring brothers?! I would like to think that I would have responded like my friend Joe, but I wonder what my response would have been when I came face-to-face with them. How about you? Obviously, the man I call my friend “Joe” was Joseph — who rose to power in Egypt, and represents the forgiveness available in all of our families.

Forgiveness is an important issue for all of us, and never one to be taken lightly. Age has taught me that words of forgiveness may be easy to mouth, but a heart of forgiveness is far greater than words. Though difficult, we can release others of the pain they’ve caused — and even more powerful, release ourselves from what will eventually cripple us if we don’t truly forgive.  You may be thinking, “Yeah, right.” Joseph’s family was divided because of ruthless sinfulness. But God’s work in his life created a heart that accepted pain and the separation from his family with the perspective that God had used it. You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives. (Genesis 50:20)  There is never an excuse for abuse, destroying a family or hurting those we love. However, we, like Joseph, have the capacity to forgive with hearts dedicated to doing the will of God.  The way in which my friend Joe forgave his despicable brothers reminds me of the words of leadership expert John Maxwell; forgive everybody, every time, for everything.

Some family issues may be so severe they would lead us all to say, “How could that ever be forgiven?” But I keep going back to the heart of Joseph. And then I think of the heart of Jesus … which one of us deserved to have our sins forgiven? It was over twenty years ago now that I heard an abused man say words like this; “When we won’t forgive, it’s as if we climb up the cross and get above Christ, making our standard higher than His.” I know that forgiving family members who have hurt us, and maybe even destroyed the fabric of our family, seems beyond our ability. However, if you know Christ, the power of the Holy Spirit can guide you to the place of forgiveness.

I am glad that at the moment of truth Joseph didn’t say, “Yeah, right.” He did what was right, and was used of God to bring restoration to his family. Over the course of a family’s life, there are many opportunities where healing is needed. You and I can be a catalyst for restoration if we live with hearts of forgiveness. Living in the Spirit, we can.

Do you know anyone who has lived in a dysfunctional family? A better question is “do you know anyone who hasn’t been affected by dysfunction in their family tree?” I know that I have. Looking back at my heritage, there were many issues that created a measure of dysfunction on both sides of my family. While growing up, I never thought of the formal term (that is now a prominent word), but there were issues which today would be easily and readily classified as dysfunctional. How about your family? Do you believe some of the struggles you’ve had to overcome as an adult can be traced to the inconsistencies, weaknesses and patterns of your early years? We can all use the dysfunction in our past as an excuse, but the real point of my challenge is how do we gain God’s perspective?

Our next three articles will focus on Joseph’s family (Jacob was his father), the dysfunction of his youth, and the godly perspective that his life ultimately exhibited.

If you wanted to illustrate the definition of dysfunction, look no further than Jacob and his sons. They were awful. There were twelve sons, and it was quite obvious that Joseph was his father’s favorite. Jacob loved Joseph more than his other sons because he had been born to him at an older age. That would have naturally created some sibling issues, but his brothers hated Joseph because their father loved him more than the rest of them. They couldn’t say a kind word to him. (Genesis 37:4) Joseph’s immaturity didn’t help the issue when he shared his dreams in a way that just aggravated the dysfunction.

Ultimately, the brothers were pasturing Jacob’s flocks, and Joseph was sent by his father to check on them. He was to bring back a report. When his brothers saw him, a plan was devised to kill Joseph. They would kill him, throw him in a cistern, then tell Jacob that a wild animal had eaten his son. Reuben came to his rescue by giving an alternate plan. Just throw him in the cistern, and let him die. Reuben’s goal was to come back and rescue Joseph and return him to Jacob.  The ruthless brothers eventually decided to not kill Joseph and pulled him from the cistern. Then they sold Joseph to Midianite traders for twenty pieces of silver. Talk about family dysfunction!

Reuben, the firstborn son, returned to rescue Joseph. He was absent during the sale of his brother, and upon finding out that Joseph was missing, tore his garments in grief. But I don’t think that it was grief over his poor little brother. It was self-serving. The New Living Translation Bible study notes give a good explanation of Reuben’s pain. “His first response, in effect was “What will happen to me?” rather than “What will happen to Joseph?” Reuben gives us a good picture of dysfunctional families in the 21st century. Often family issues are dominated by “my needs” instead of “your needs,” and, without a doubt, patterns of selfishness develop in families wrought with dysfunction.

Joseph’s brothers perpetrated their deceit by giving Jacob his son’s blood stained robe. But all of the evil propelled Joseph into an amazing life of God’s design. Today, you and I are part of families which have pain and dysfunction (at some level). We also have the opportunity to re-create family patterns by continually focusing on “your needs” and not “my needs.”  We can all find excuses to justify hurt and avoid being the family catalyst for healing … but is that the best option?  Reuben could have sought to be a healer, but he didn’t. Our family choices may not be as desperate as Reuben’s, but we will have choices … choose to be a healer!

As I began to write, a floodgate of tears burst open.  I’m guessing I’m about to find out why.  Maybe they’re for something that’s going to be revealed in my own life.  Maybe they’re for someone I’ll never know about.  Maybe it’s because the reality of brokenness is so close to my heart and experience in walking with God.  Whatever the reason, they were very real, and I haven’t the first clue why they came.

We are makers of plans and this is our season.  The end of a year invites reflection, and the dawn of a new one turns our minds to fresh possibilities and plans.  We resolve to do better or anew.  We set a target.  We write words or speak a promise.

If you were to lay out all the resolves, promises and plans you made at the beginning of each new year, I believe most (if not all) would fall into a very specific pattern.  While the areas and applications vary widely (health, wealth, personal or professional growth, spiritual discipline — to name just a few) the intent and resulting actions would almost always be to build up.  It seems as though our innate nature in planning and goal setting is increase.  It is into this nature that I’d like to speak a suggestion.  What would our lives look like, at this time next year, if we set a goal of radical decrease?  What if we would pray without ceasing the words of John 3:30 — He must increase, but I must decrease (ESV) – and then submit ourselves fully to a brick-by-brick dismantling of everything we’ve built up in our own power.

As my mind began to consider this, I recalled the melody and lyrics of a song I heard on the radio and then immediately downloaded last year (The Unmaking by Nicole Nordeman).  The title and tenor of the song shocked my senses.  I was moved and inspired … and then it went all but dormant.  It came flooding back to me as the thoughts of decrease and deconstruction began to expand in my mind.  Truths in the lyrics like, “Only when we’re broken, are we whole.”  Questions in the lyrics like, “What happens now, when all I’ve made is torn down?” and “What happens next,  when all of You is all that’s left?”  The chorus answers:

This is the unmaking
The beauty in the breaking
Had to lose myself
To find out who You are

An unmaking — Is it possible to wish for this … to plead for this?  Beauty in the breaking — Oh, the life-changing experiences God has brought me through which shout that truth!  Had to lose myself to find out who You are — My heart shouts, “Yes, Jesus, yes!”

Are we off target in all our well-meaning plans of increase?  Are we starving our true selves, which crave perfect union with our Creator and Father?  Are we willing to be stripped of everything we’ve built — emptied of every bit of ourselves — to finally find oneness with Him?  Will we stop bending, and finally break, in order to be made whole?  What would our lives, and the patch of kingdom ground God has gifted us to move and breathe within, look like one year from today if we said “Yes!”?

This is the possibility and promise of an unmaking.

Our lives follow a rhythm of seasons.  The created world navigates a perpetual cycle of four.  Our calendar and everyday lives possess many more.  Recently, we all experienced the calendar seasons of gratitude and generosity.  The two major holiday seasons, which punctuate the calendar year, invite us to experience their goodness, but the seasonal circumstances of our lives do not always fit with those feelings.  I pray they have for you, but if they have not, I pray for comfort and healing.  May the hope and promise of a new “day” (the season we are beginning now) take root in your heart and life.

If I had to name this current season, I would call it “the season of resolve.”  This is the season where more than a page is turned on the calendar.  Where even people whose tendency is to live in the moment or to feel captive to their current circumstances see the potential and possibility of a fresh new page.  This is the season for dreamers, planners, and goal setters.  It is into the dawn of this season that I’d like to speak two simple things … today a simple truth and next Thursday a simple suggestion.

This year, I bought a paper calendar.  I’ve been restless in the previous few, wrestling with my genuine love of writing and journaling, and my enjoyment of technology.  Google has been good to me.  I love the ease with which I can create an appointment in my Google Calendar.  I love the automatic reminders.  I love the options for visibility beyond my own personal notice.  It’s efficient and fun, but it hasn’t fulfilled me.  Each time I’ve sat with my wife to go over calendars, I’ve felt inadequate.  She probably sets an unrealistically high bar with her impeccable handwriting and crazy neatness, but even my most brisk keystrokes lagged measurably behind the elegant strokes of her Sharpie pen.  There was unmistakable personality and depth in her date book, mine fit into my pocket.  Her marks were indelible, mine disappeared into the cloud.

Irrespective of the disquiet, I loved our “planning” sessions.  I loved sitting down with calendars and charting out the days, weeks and months that lay ahead.  It made things fit.  It made them make sense.  I felt prepared and some semblance of organized as we measured our future steps.  I wonder if you’ve experienced that very same sense of satisfaction.

It is good to plan.  There is great benefit in looking and plotting your way forward.  The human wisdom, which says you are far more likely to arrive at a goal if you plan your path towards it, seems to prove true.  But I also believe there is a greater biblical truth that is essential to every maker of plans.

The heart of man plans his way, but the LORD establishes his steps.
Proverbs 19:9 (ESV)

God knows us.  He created each and every physical and emotional part of me (and you) and knit them together as I was being formed in my mother’s womb (Psalm 139:13).  He knows the desires and function of our hearts.  He knows that we are inclined to do many things, one of which is to plan.  He has chosen not to override this nature.  He has chosen to allow us to choose.  And in choosing, we must remember this grace.  We must acknowledge that each breath and step is gifted by Him.  Our plan(s) may appear to result in us arriving at a place or a goal in a month’s or six month’s time, but let us never forget that it was God’s grace, power, provision and protection that brought us there.

God does not tell us to stop planning.  He simply reminds us through the Psalmist the proper context in which to plan.  May we always remember the frailty of this life and the purposes of the kingdom when we set our sights forward.  May we seek His heart in the goals we set.  May we live freely along the paths we chart, ever close to Him, always listening and sensitive to His leading.  May we acknowledge Him first in the celebration of every occasion of arriving at a place or achieving a goal.

How good is God that He does not dismiss the heart of man.  How great was His sacrifice and love for us in authoring the plan of redemption.  Welcome 2016 and this season of resolve.

Have you ever done anything in your distant past which you still regret to this day?  Yes, me too. Maybe it’s just a cringe-worthy memory now, or maybe it changed the course of your life.  Whatever the case, you are in good company. Sarah made a choice that she regretted for the rest of her life – and that choice did indeed change the course of history and still affects us today.  God made a covenant with Sarah’s husband, Abraham that his offspring would become a great nation. Sarah was still barren at the age of 75. She believed, but time was of the essence.  So she hatched a plan involving her hand maiden, Hagar.  Hagar became Sarah’s “surrogate” and Abraham fathered a son with her.  The mistake was evident immediately.

When she (Hagar) knew she was pregnant, she began to despise her mistress.  Then Sarai said to Abram, “You are responsible for the wrong I am suffering. I put my slave in your arms, and now that she knows she is pregnant, she despises me. May the Lord judge between you and me.”
Genesis 16:4-5

It seems that Hagar flaunted her motherhood to Sarah and became quite disrespectful to her mistress; that was only the beginning of the trouble between the two women.  Sarah must have known what a terrible situation this was – what a terrible mistake she had made.

Move forward 13 years.  The family is still living in Canaan.  Hagar had given birth to Abraham’s son and called him Ishmael.  Sarah is now 89 years old and still barren.  Abraham is ready to turn 100!  God once again comes to Abraham with the same promise – He will be the father of many nations.  But this time God specifies it will NOT be through the son Ishmael.  God’s plan was always the same; Abraham and Sarah would have a son through which the Jewish nation would become great.  God’s plan never changed; His plan was always the same, and — here’s the key — His timing is always perfect.

Now, here is why Sarah is held up in Scripture as a godly wife, and why she is named in the Hebrews Hall of Faith even after such an erroneous move.  Three special visitors show up one evening to visit Abraham…

“Where is your wife Sarah?” they asked him. “There, in the tent,” he said. Then one of them said, “I will surely return to you about this time next year, and Sarah your wife will have a son.” Now Sarah was listening at the entrance to the tent, which was behind him. Abraham and Sarah were already very old, and Sarah was past the age of childbearing.  So Sarah laughed to herself as she thought, “After I am worn out and my lord is old, will I now have this pleasure?”
Genesis 18:9-11 

Yes, Sarah laughed, but do not mistake that for derision.  Bible scholar John McArthur writes that Sarah laughed with amazement; she was incredulous. You see, this was the first time Sarah heard the promise with her own ears.  Every other time God gave the promise to Abraham, and he was the one who then told his wife.  But this time, Sarah heard it for herself from God’s own messengers.  Only God could allow a 90-year-old woman to give birth.  I do not believe that either Abraham or Sarah wavered in their faith (Paul speaks to this in the New Testament), but Sarah took matters into her own hands … just like I have … and just like you have.  God’s timing, however, was perfect, miraculous timing! Isaac, whose name means “laughter,” founded the Jewish nation and Ishmael founded the Arab nation, (and the conflict between the two still rages!!)  There’s a saying I find myself muttering quite often.  I can’t remember who said it or where I read it, but it says, “Let go, and let God.”  On our daily journey, we need to stop trying to fix, change, rush, rearrange or otherwise mess up God’s timing.  Do we really think we can do better?!  If God can give a 90-year-old woman and a 100-year-old man a baby, I think He can get us through this week!

Let go, and Let God.

Everybody loves the song that we just put away for another year, “Mary, Did You Know?” If I was blessed to compose songs, the sequel would be, “Joseph, Could You Imagine?” Mary was pregnant with the very Son of God, and this was undeniably an odd (like, once in all of history!) set of circumstances. But Joseph encountered the angel of the Lord in a dream, obeyed God’s plan and honored Mary! After the birth, Joseph led a family which included the only sinless person to ever walk the face of the earth. Could Joseph have ever imagined the honor that was his? But just like in any family, difficulties came, and Joseph had to lead. In chapter two of Matthew, there are two more specific encounters with an angel of the Lord that shaped Joseph’s future … and in reality, all of history. Thank goodness he obeyed, but could he have ever imagined his role in history?

We can only imagine what life-altering changes Jesus’ birth had already caused Joseph and Mary. But now they all have to flee to Egypt for protection from Herod. That’s right! God directed Joseph to leave Bethlehem hurriedly and escape to Egypt. It was 75 miles to the border, and then possibly another 100 miles of travel for complete safety. Can you imagine what that trip was like with a young child? After a period of time had passed, they are led by God to return to Israel because Herod was dead. Tough trip, but Matthew states prophecy was fulfilled; “Out of Egypt I called my Son.”

But wait … there was more trouble. Upon returning to Israel, Joseph realized that Herod’s son, Archelaus, was ruling in Judea. Bad news! God leads Joseph to take his family to the rough and tumble city called Nazareth for protection. Admittedly, this is a lot of travel for a young family with no great form of transportation. Mary and Joseph were originally from Nazareth, but there was a greater reason for this move. Matthew 2:23 gives us the following words: And he went and lived in a city called Nazareth, so that what was spoken by the prophets might be fulfilled, that he would be called a Nazarene. Could Joseph ever have imagined his role in fulfilling prophecy?

God’s divine providence is with them all as they run. But as I view Christ’s birth, the trip to Egypt, and then to Nazareth, I can only venture to guess the thoughts that ran through Joseph’s mind. Could he have ever imagined?!  Although directed by God, Joseph wasn’t a robot and his life (and Mary’s) was altered significantly by the unusual commands of the Father. His obedience to God’s plan meant personal sacrifice. God’s journey for Christ was placed in the hands of an obedient young man, and Joseph obeyed the Lord’s directions!

You and I are also nurturing someone’s journey. Listening to God along that journey is important. There will be times when you think God’s plan makes no sense. Do you think Joseph had any of those “this makes no sense” thoughts? But it always does! Someone’s future and spiritual journey will be affected by our response to the will of God. It may not have the significance of raising and protecting the very Son of God, but our obedience in those moments matters. Are you listening well and trusting God to lead you as you begin 2016? Are you obeying that leading? Your family, friends and work associates need you to be listening, trusting and obeying the Father.

Hard choices and the will of God will often cause you and me to pause.  God already knows what He wants from us….trust and obedience.  I can’t imagine living Joseph’s journey. But in a very simple way, his choices are like ours … to trust and obey! Joseph’s obedience to God’s commands was significant in the epic journey of Jesus.  Just like Joseph, you and I have an important role in someone’s journey. Who benefits when you and I listen to the Father well? Someone else….that we love! Could Joseph have imagined what his obedience would mean?

Can you imagine what your obedience can mean?!

Tomorrow starts a new trip around the sun for all of us. Now, for those of you who are thinking “what is he talking about?” just remember that the earth rotates the sun every 365.256 days. So, once a year we all take a trip around the sun. My thinking turned to this concept while reading a fascinating book called, A Trip around the Sun, by Mark Batterson and Richard Foth. My wife and I are just starting our 40th trip together, and just like the 39 prior ones, it will be filled with various circumstances, emotions and events we could never have imagined. We cannot control (nor can you) what happens as we orbit, but we can definitely determine how we navigate the next trip.

It is interesting to me that as I write this article, most thoughtful people are planning that next trip, just like Genel and I are.  By next week, all of those plans will come face to face with the reality of living as frail people in a fallen world. The question is, how you will navigate the trip when that reality hits. If you are a Christ-follower, will you stick to the spiritual disciplines that were launched on January 1st? From a physical standpoint, will the plans to eat healthier, and stay (or become) physically fit endure the rigors of another long journey around the sun? We all naturally have 2016 goals that are foremost on our minds. Will they continue as next year’s journey picks up steam?

We all have had interesting adventures circling the sun. Some years we have accomplished many of our goals and landed well.  There have been other trips which ended with us limping to the finish. I am sure you know what I mean. Again, we can’t control the journey, but we can control how we navigate it. The challenge is to be committed to our never-changing values and live 2016 with hearts that are absolutely determined not to let the circumstances, emotions and events of the trip derail us. It is critical to set the disciplines and parameters of the next 365.256 days in place now, then be unwavering in journeying through it. And remember, navigating 2016 doesn’t just effect you, but all those traveling with you as well.

I don’t need to go further with trying to motivate you, but I do want to leave you with a quote from my reading that can be a challenge for your next trip around the sun.  Leonardo da Vinci penned the following words from a lifetime of observation:

The average human being “looks without seeing, listens without hearing, touches without feeling, eats without tasting, inhales without awareness of odor or fragrance, and talks without thinking.”

Those words speak to the challenge we face in navigating 2016. The key will be to turn all of the “without’s” to “with’s.” Take heart!  In Christ, it can be done. The choice is ours!

During the Christmas season, our daughter grew weary of hearing about a trip around the sun. You may be having similar feelings right now. But the journey will begin tomorrow, and you and I are accountable for how we navigate the next trip. My last words for 2015 are this: stay closer to the Son than ever before, and your next trip around the sun can be the ride of a lifetime. You can do it!

For my last post of 2015, I want to revisit one of my personal stories.  A story that connects back to what many scholars believe was the first Bible story ever written.  It may seem a bit of an odd place to land (the book of Job) in the post-glow of Christmas, but I suggest that “glow” is not what everyone experiences during the Christmas season.  For some, the season of Christmas is more suffering than celebration and more of a journey through, or reminder of, deep pain, loss or sadness.

We all have opportunities to be a friend to someone who is suffering.  The story of Job is one we should sit with repeatedly and allow to speak into our own opportunities to be a friend in those moments.  His story can teach us much about the heart of someone enduring deep suffering and genuinely questioning God.  Job’s life is a great illustration of how to do that and never lose trust in God or stop believing that He is good.  The full narrative also exposes the kind of friend that someone DOESN’T need as they navigate great pain and deep loss.  A friend who starts out well (by simply sitting with their friend in their grief and not speaking) but eventually falls into a pit of self-righteousness, rebuking and judging.  How tempting it is to insert ourselves into someone else’s suffering armed with our own “wisdom.”  How easy it is to choose the sound of our own voice over the small still one that wants to speak through us.  We come bearing presents in the form of our time, our words and our wealth, and we forget the most valuable gift we have to bring is our presence … showing up and sitting a while in the season of a friend’s suffering.

I do not offer my story from a place of pride.  I do not elevate it as an illustration of any grand “point.”  It was simply an occasion where my wife and I showed up and shut up and experienced a moment where the kingdom of heaven touched earth.  A sacred slice of place and time where our story became intertwined with that of the ancients.  I offer my story about carnival colors:

Last April my wife Kristyn learned of a dear friend whose father was in the hospital, likely in his final days.  Kristyn reached out to her girlfriend to see if she could bring her family a meal.  Her friend was spending nearly all her waking hours sitting with her mother, comforting her father as he suffered with multiple painful ailments.  In responding, she asked if Kristyn might just come and sit with her the next day in the hospital.  A gracious and courageous request in the face of what she was enduring.  It is courageous to welcome someone into such a deeply personal space, and it is exceedingly gracious to allow someone to come alongside at a time when you’re at your most vulnerable.

Kristyn quickly agreed, and from each of their reports later, it was a beautiful day spent together.  As her friend would tell me later, Kristyn’s presence allowed her to begin grieving.  Kristyn would later share that she felt like the one who was blessed.  It was an abundant serving of daily bread; bread from the very hand of the Father whose ingredients were the time Kristyn gave and the invitation her friend offered.  A kingdom of God moment, for certain.

I texted our friend later that afternoon to see if I could bring her some dinner on my way home from work, or maybe I could just come and sit for a bit.  She was gracious once again and said she would love a cup of soup and coffee … one cream, one sugar.  I arrived with her order about 20 minutes later.  We hugged, she thanked me and then invited me to sit with her in the common area just down the hall from her father’s room.

As I sat and listened, I was overwhelmed by the truth that we were sharing a sacred space.  She was doing what she could to love her father fully to his very last breath, and gift him dignity in the midst of a scene that seemed everything but.  Sin authored death, and sin is equally responsible for pain.  Sin was fighting for the headlines in that space, but her father’s belief in Christ, and the love of Christ that his wife, his daughter and his family were actively living in that space outshined the darkness.

As we sat and talked, I asked my friend to share a story about her and her dad; one that might give me a deeper sense of who he was.  She shared how, as a young girl, she would ride in a pickup truck with her dad to his job sites.  He was a construction foreman, and she loved riding in that truck with him.  She shared how he loved to take his kids to the Thanksgiving Day parade in downtown Detroit.  How he would set up scaffolding so they could be up higher to see everything.  How he loved photography and music.  My friend is a soloist with a beautiful voice.  She explained that she got her love of music from her mom and dad.  They used to sing (loudly) in the car, and her parents would always say, “Sing louder Kimmy, so we can hear you!”  It was not easy to watch my friend share those memories, because intermingled with the smiles and chuckles was a deep sense of sorrow in the here and now.  It was sacred time in a sacred space, and I was so thankful to be able to share it with her.

As she finished her soup, she invited me down to her father’s room.  It was no small invitation, and I was beyond honored and grateful.  As I entered the room, I saw her mother sitting at her father’s bedside, holding his hand, smiling at him.  What an amazing picture of both earthly and godly love.  I was introduced, and stood at the foot of her father’s bed silently and reverently.  I was reminded of times in scripture where people were speechless in the presence of God.  It would be my nature to say something.  I am rarely shy with words.  But in that moment, and in that space, it felt right to simply stand in silence.  I felt the urge to take off my shoes (I had the strongest sense I was standing on holy ground).  I wish I had followed that urge.

Very soon after we arrived, my friend’s mother began to sing.  The song was Amazing Grace, and it was, indeed, a sweet sound.  After the first few words, my friend joined her mother in flawless harmony.  There they were, mother and daughter, honoring their dying husband and father in a way that was so genuinely who they all were together.  It was as if they were sitting on the bench seat of dad’s old pickup truck all over again.

I closed my eyes and listened prayerfully … and then found myself joining in a verse later. I put my arm around my friend and my other hand on her father’s foot.  I don’t know how long we sang, but the world around us seemed to dissolve away.  If holy could get “holier,” it did.

As I rode the elevator to the first floor on my way home that evening, my heart and mind returned to our conversation in the common area.  There were two words that came flooding back and repeated themselves over and over.  I seem to recall she shared them either in the context of her parade memories, or her father’s love of photography.  He had a phrase which has taken a forever place in the vernacular with which my heart and life speak, and she only had to speak it once for it to land and settle there.  My friend shared that her father had been fascinated by the colors which were revealed by a cleansing rain.  The faded and worn hues of the everyday burst forth with new life after a good rain, and her father had a unique and beautiful way of describing them to anyone who would listen.  The words he used were burned into her memory.  He called them “carnival colors.”  Carnival colors … I will never forget those words, or what they meant to me in that moment.

I prayed as the elevator descended.  I prayed that my friend would see those colors after the cleansing tears that would come when her father met Jesus face to face (just a few days later).  I prayed that she would associate those colors in her life with the memory of her father, as a gift from her Father in heaven.  Just as God gave the gift of a rainbow so we would all remember, He gave the gift of carnival colors so she would.  May we all live life in full recognition and awareness of the carnival colors all around us … the colors which are revealed after cleansing and healing rains.  Let us take the opportunities we are given to show up and shut up in the season of a friend’s suffering.  Let us be the friend that our “Job” needs.